I heard an Esso ad on the radio today, that started: “We pride ourselves on making fuels that operate at the molecular level.”
First, what doesn’t operate at a molecular level?
Second, it fails the ‘Who cares’ test.
Who cares what you pride yourself on? Customers only care what’s in it for them.
When I Googled ‘Esso “we pride ourselves”‘, these are the results:
- “At Esso, we pride ourselves on developing advanced fuel that works”
- “At Esso we pride ourselves on developing fuels to help your engine run more smoothly”
- “Like Exxon®, we pride ourselves on our environmental consciousness” (!)
- “We pride ourselves on going that little bit further”
- “We pride ourselves on being locally owned”
- “We pride ourselves as [sic] being a leading technology company”
- “We pride ourselves in [sic] professionalism and honesty”
Don’t write about how proud you are; write about what you do for your customers.