but I don’t like seeing ads about, erm, leaky lady gardens* on TV.

You know the kind of ads I mean…for Canesten thrush treatments…Tena Lady incontinence pads…Always sanpro… Makes it seem as though we’re all sliding around leaving slimy trails behind us, like snails do.

If you buy a women’s magazine, these ads sit there quite happily. Buy a women’s magazine, and you know what you’re going to get. Ads aimed at women. Anyone else who looks at them gets an insight into a woman’s world.

I suppose there should be no secret about these things. But I do feel faintly embarrassed when I see these ads in amidst TV shows that are also watched by men and children.

What if the local priest came round for tea? Your granddad? An enquiring 10-year-old?

Turn the TV off when you get visitors. It’s the only answer.

* This expression was inspired by singer KT Tunstall who said she’d blow-dry hers (Al Murray’s Happy Hour last week).

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