I just opened a thick red envelope from Virgin Media. The inside of the envelope is stripey. Inside the envelope is a striped bag, the sort you get old-fashioned sweets in. It’s a bulky bag, decorated with a personalised sticker. Mmm, perhaps they’ve sent me some sweets. Inside the bag is a personalised letter, printed on thick paper with a ‘cut-out’ sweet at the top. And a handful of cardboard sweets.
On one side of each is the name of a TV show; on the other side, a screenshot from the show with the channel logo and show name in small print (I got three bits for ‘Threesome’; is that some kind of a joke?)
What a waste.
Instead of a mouth-watering treat, it’s a disappointment.
What am I supposed to do with them except put them straight in the recycling?
Better if they had provided real sweets, or incorporated them as pieces in some sort of collection or board game. Better yet if they had not sent them at all and instead reduced the amount I have to pay each month.
Note to all marketers. Junk mail is having a resurgence (because most people don’t want to pay the print and postage so use email instead). It helps your message stand out from the rest. Lumpy mail (junk mail with an enclosure) is doing even better. But if you’re going to do it, make sure you send something the recipient will appreciate.