I bet these are not true (but how I wish they were!).

In a podiatrist’s office: Time wounds all heels
On a septic tank truck: Yesterday’s meals on wheels
On another septic tank truck: Caution – This truck is full of political promises
On a plumber’s truck: We repair what your husband fixed
On another plumber’s truck: Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber
On a church notice-board: 7 days without God makes one weak
At a tyre store: Invite us to your next blowout
On an electrician’s truck: Let us remove your shorts
In a non-smoking area: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action
At a gynaecologist’s office: Dr. Jones, at your cervix
At an optometrist’s office: If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place
On a maternity room door: Push. Push. Push.
On a taxidermist’s window: We really know our stuff
On a garden fence: Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive!
At a car dealership: The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment
Outside a car exhaust store: No appointment necessary. We hear you coming
In a vet’s waiting room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
In a restaurant window: Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up
At a funeral home: Drive carefully. We’ll wait.
At a radiator shop: Best place in town to take a leak
In the hypnotherapist’s office: Change your life. That is just a suggestion and I am just a hypnotist.

Categories: Wordy humour

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